Month: February 2006

Bridge for Sale: Cheap

From time to time, you hear about people making spectacularly fraudulent sales.  It makes sense that the best of these salesmen would have to be the ones whose job it is to lie for their country:

The [Thai] Civil Court yesterday ordered [Suseree Tavedikul,] a former Thai ambassador to the Netherlands to pay a total of Bt10 million in compensation after he was found guilty of selling the Thai embassy to [J. Bakker, a Dutch] businessman without permission.

"Psst, hey mack!  Wanna buy a consulate?"

OK, so fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, and rogue ambassadors just can’t resist making a little extra on the side.  By selling their embassies.  No harm done, right?

The scandal resulted in the [Thai] Foreign Ministry being sued by Bakker and [a] Netherlands Court [ordering the] confiscation of the Thai embassy premises.

"Uh, hello?  Is this the prime minister of Thailand?  Y’know that embassy of yours in Holland?  Sorry to have to tell you this, but, we’re sending a crew over to repossess it on Monday.  Hope this won’t, ahhh, damage the relationship between our two countries, or anything."

In all seriousness though, the matter didn’t quite make it to that point:

Foreign Ministry spokesman Sihasak Phuangketkeow said that Bakker withdrew the case against the Foreign Ministry after the two sides agreed to settle out of the court and the ministry paid a sum of money in compensation.

The ministry sued for compensation for its court costs in the Netherlands. The court ordered the former ambassador to pay the ministry’s costs of Bt10.54 million.

But the story doesn’t end there.  Think of poor Mr. Suseree, with mouths to feed and $280,000 bills to pay.  It’s quite a predicament, because incredible as it may seem, employers don’t always beat a path to your door when they see "ambassadorial skills" listed on your resume’. What’s a guy gonna do?

Why, open a school teaching English, naturally!

Suseree is a former Foreign Ministry spokesman and deputy permanent secretary in charge of administration. He now owns an international school in Bangkok.

A little friendly advice to all those foreign teachers working for Mr. Suseree:  make sure you’re being paid up front.  Cash would be nice.

Visiting Dusit Park

You’re in Bangkok, Thailand, and you want to see both the Grand Palace and Dusit Park.  Does it matter which one you see first?

Oh yes, it does.  A ticket to the Grand Palace costs 250 Baht (the unit of Thai currency), and includes an admission ticket to Dusit Park that’s good for 1 week.  A ticket for Dusit Park costs 100 Bt, but only allows you to see Dusit Park.

So if you want to see both, and go to the Grand Palace first, it’ll cost you 250 Bt.  But if you visit Dusit Park BEFORE the Grand Palace, it’ll cost you 350 Bt.  Going to the Grand Palace first is wiser, especially if you’re with your family.

The Grand Palace in Bangkok, Thailand

I jokingly, but unfairly call Dusit Park the "Not-So-Grand Palace" because it isn’t as ostentatious as the Grand Palace.  No matter if I were staggeringly rich, I could never live in a place like the Grand Palace, but with enough money, I COULD imagine living in one of the fine mansions on the grounds of the Dusit Park gardens.

Dusit Park in Bangkok, Thailand

One of the buildings on the grounds is the beautiful teak Vimanmek Palace.  They take groups of tourists through it on guided tours, but there’s a bit of a scam that you ought to be aware of.

Like most Thai houses, you’re required to enter shoeless.  And since it contains antiques, you’re not allowed to take photos either.  They’ve thoughtfully provided lockers for your camera and shoes in an entrance building, but what isn’t so thoughtful is that the lockers aren’t free.

So here’s what happened to me:

I arrive at about 3 pm at the entrance building.  I put my camera bag and shoes into the locker.  I start to put one of the lens pouches strapped onto my belt into the locker.  One  of the Thai workers approaches me.

"Ticket, ticket, ticket!" she says rapidly in a raised voice.

"Huh?" I wittily reply.  So I dig through my pouches, and offer it to her.  For some reason, she’s not interested in taking it.  Instead she shakes her head, pointing to the lens pouches still attached to my belt.

"Camera, camera, camera!" she snaps.

OK, now you’re starting to get on my nerves.  I was putting that away in the first place BEFORE you interrupted to ask for the ticket.  The ticket that once produced, you didn’t want.

Please kindly allow me to finish ONE task before assigning me with ANOTHER.

I decide that this is best left unsaid.  She wanders off, and I get everything into the locker.  Put the non-refundable 30 Bt into it, remove the key, and I’m on my way. 

Not so fast, buster.

"Ticket?" she asks. 

Oh, for Pete’s sakes, it’s in the locker!  Fuming, I open it up, retrieve the ticket and kiss another 30 Bt goodbye. 

Then as I take the tour, I realize that in all the confusion, there’s something else I left in the locker.

My glasses.

You see, most people wear sunglasses on the grounds outside.  But the mansion itself is lit with ambient light, so if you continue wearing your prescription sunglasses indoors, everything’s too dark.  Don’t wear them, and everything’s a blur.  Needless to say, once you’re inside, it’s too late to go back.

So now you know the Vimanmek locker scam, which to my knowledge, isn’t mentioned in any tour book.  Put your shoes and camera into the locker, but have your ticket and indoor glasses in hand BEFORE you shovel in your money and lock it up.

(By the way, I later realized that the rude behavior of the Thai worker wasn’t really rude at all.  At the time, I was unaware that I had come late for the last tour of the day.  She was really trying to HELP me – she was simply doing her best to hurry me up so that I wouldn’t miss the tour.  Unfortunately, her English skills weren’t sufficient to do that politely.)

Anyways, here’s Vimanmek Palace:

Vimanmek Palace in Dusit Park. Bangkok, Thailand.

A few more points.  There used to be a traditional Thai dance demonstration beside Vimanmek Palace, but that’s now been discontinued.  The Grand Palace and Dusit Park each require about 4 hours, at least if you’re a photography buff.  If you are, then leave your tripod in your hotel room, as you aren’t allowed to use it anywhere on the grounds of either place.

Finally, wear long pants.  If you wear shorts, you’ll be given a sarong to cover up with while indoors.  As for women, they shouldn’t try to get away with wearing capri pants, because they’ll STILL be issued a sarong and they’ll wind up being TWICE as hot as ladies with slacks.

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What’s the Deal with Cambodia?

Back in January, the situation there seemed cut and dried:

Hun Sen staged a coup in 1997. He then intimidated opponents, manipulated elections and cut constitutional corners, allowing him to move steadily to reclaim the full powers he held before the UN intervention.

During the past year, he has choked off the last effective political opposition while continuing to marginalize the monarchy, manipulate the courts and intimidate labor unions and other civic groups.

In December, the leader of the only significant opposition party, Sam Rainsy, who had already fled the country, was sentenced in absentia to 18 months in prison for criminal defamation.

Now, with a series of arrests and lawsuits on defamation and related charges, Hun Sen is for the first time directly attacking the human rights groups that, by default, serve as a de facto democratic opposition.

The Bangkok Post further discussed Hun Sen’s persecution of Cambodian human rights critics in a Feb 1/06 story titled, "Hun Sen says foreign critics are animals."  (Sorry, no link is available.)

Cambodian Centre for Human Rights director Cam Sokha and his deputy Pa Nguon Teang as well as legal activist Yeng Virak were arrested and jailed pending defamation hearings over anti-government slogans which had allegedly appeared on a banner for International Human Rights Day on Dec 10 [/05].

Gahhh!  They were arrested for a slogan on a banner.  Happy International Human Rights Day!

Others were arrested for politically disagreeing with the government:

Independent broadcaster Mom Sonando and teachers union head Rong Chunn were arrested last October after they criticized the government’s new border agreement with Vietnam…

After foreign critics asked Hun Sen to withdraw the charges against the men, his reply was this:

"Any foreigners, if you are not an animal, please talk about the law.  Don’t talk about politics…You have asked me to drop the complaint.  I am not the chief of the court.  I cannot drop it and am unable to suspend [the cases].  Now there are two possibilities.  One, let the court sentence them, and then I will ask the king for a pardon for you…"

"Two, please be quiet…"

Love them choices.

"Please choose your option.  Some critics are animals.  Cam Sokha, Pa Nguon Teang and Mom Sonando clearly understand about animals."

"In Cambodia, if you want to become well-known, they have to blast Hun Sen.  Then if they are jailed they can have donors…"

Thomas Jefferson, he’s not.  But it seems though, that he’d rather silence his enemies rather than jail them.  Because on Feb 10th, Cambodia’s convicted opposition leader returned to Cambodia, and he didn’t wind up in the clink.  There was a price, though:

[Sam Rainsy] received a royal pardon from King Norodom Sihamoni last week.

The catalyst for the pardon appears to have been a letter that Mr Rainsy sent to the prime minister last Friday.

In it he apologised for linking Hun Sen to a fatal grenade attack on a Sam Rainsy Party rally nine years ago.

He also indicated he would be less abrasive towards the government in future.

I take that as meaning that from now on, he’ll be much less critical towards government policies.  Quite frankly, I’m not sure what’s the purpose of even having an opposition if it’s just going to roll over and play dead.  Some of Rainsy’s supporters feel the same way, though they’ve taken their disappointment with their leader a bit too far:

Opposition leader Sam Rainsy has been allotted 12 armed bodyguards because of fears he could be assassinated by critics angered by his truce with his former arch-rival, Prime Minister Hun Sen, officials said yesterday.

(From "State assigns bodyguards to protect Sam Rainsy," in the Feb 17th edition of the Bangkok Post.  Sorry, no link is available.)

How threatening violence against their own party leader is going to help matters is beyond me.  Having to depend on the government for protection puts Rainsy even further in Hun Sen’s debt.

All of this is pretty convincing evidence that Cambodia is ruled by a dictator.  Which leaves me scratching my head over the next story:

Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen said yesterday he wanted to remove from the statute books a criminal defamation law which rights activists say he has been using to silence critics.

Defamation should be a civil action under which those found guilty would have to pay compensation, Hun Sen said after making up with Sam Rainsy, for whom he requested a royal pardon allowing for Sam Rainsy’s return from France.

(From "Hun Sen intends to pull defamation law," in the Feb 15/06 edition of the Bangkok Post.  Sorry, no link is available.)

So here’s the question:  since when do dictators just voluntarily give up weapons in their coercive arsenal?  The criminal defamation law has obviously served Hun Sen well in the past.  Has he had some kind of Road to Damascus moment, and become a new convert to democracy?

What’s the deal?

If anyone knows the answer, or can direct me to a good blog on Cambodian politics, I’d appreciate the help.  ‘Cause right now, I’m baffled.

Sounds Like the Title of a Bad Porno

North Korean Cheerleaders in Prison.

See what I mean?

Twenty-one members of North Korean cheering squads who traveled to South Korea for international sports events are being held in a prison camp for talking about what they saw in the South, a news report said yesterday.

…the female cheering squad apparently violated a pledge not to speak about what they saw in South Korea, the Chosun Ilbo reported.

Citing another unnamed defector, the newspaper said the cheerleaders had pledged before going to South Korea that they would treat the country as "enemy territory" and never speak about what they saw there, accepting punishment if they broke the promise.

Anyways, here’s a few pics of the cheerleaders in happier days:

North Korean cheerleaders in white tops and black dresses

North Korean cheerleaders in white tops and black dresses

North Korean cheerleaders in white tops and black dresses

On the bright side, ladies, a strict regimen of hard labor along with Dear Leader’s patented Starvation Diet™ will have you losing ALL of those unwanted pounds in NO time.

Kim Jong-il, you’re all heart!

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Bizarre Search Engine Results

Sep 19/07:  Googling "super-skinny models should be banned" brought one poor reader to a post about Chinese opposition to the Taiwanese flag during international sporting events.  Huh???

Sep 15/07:  This morning, someone was directed to one of my posts after searching for "what was the tiger’s name on the flintstones."  Nothing in the post on that subject, but gee whiz.  Now you’ve got ME thinking about it!

Oct 10/06:  A recent search: will+that+taiwanese+president+ever+resign.  I can so vividly imagine the author’s tone of exasperation.

Sep 24/06:  Someone recently googled indonesian+chinese+jewish+rioting.  Have there been many cases of Jews rioting in Indonesia, or what?

Jun 20/06:  A few visitors are directed to my post about fluorescent pigs while Googling foreigner+scientist.  What on earth are they looking for with such vague criteria?

Apr 5/06:  Searching google.com for, foreigner+in+taiwan+want+china+unification, brings the user to my site.

Pretty strange, but it does pose a question that I hadn’t considered before, viz., how many foreigners in Taiwan actually DO want Taiwan to be annexed by Communist China?

Feb 18/06:  Searching msn.co.uk for, audio+I’m+Spartacus, instead directs the user to my post regarding the high-frequency songs of mice.

Obviously, the engine must have gotten confused upon seeing my posts discussing the Cartoon Hoax, No, I’m Spartacus and Why I Too, Am Spartacus.  Sorry to disappoint, but I’ve no audio clips of that inspirational moment in Stanley Kubrick’s movie.

Feb 17/06:  Someone typed, Taiwan+should+surrender, and yahoo.com directed them to MY website.  Hilarious!

Guess it comes from this sentence, from a December 2005 post:

The "viable strategy" [to end Taiwan’s isolation] that The China Post proposes is that Taiwan should surrender its sovereignty to the communists in exchange for a few scraps thrown to it from the masters’ table.

Stop sugarcoating it Foreigner; tell us what you REALLY think about Taiwanese capitulation!

Compelling Explanations

You’re the embattled prime minister of a country.  The Supreme Court has just agreed to begin proceedings to find out if there are grounds for your impeachment*.  It’s only natural that people are going to ask you about your predicament.

[Yesterday, Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra] told a group of visiting National Defence College students why he was suffering a downturn.

OK, this is gonna be good.  Surely he’s gonna come clean and say that it was an unethical conflict of interest when he changed the nation’s laws, allowing him to sell his company’s shares at a greater profit?  Right?

Let’s listen:

"They say Saturn has moved into the house of Cancer.  My stars are the Moon, Mercury and the Sun, but they are foreshadowed by Saturn, causing a bad impact.  The Moon signifies charm, the Sun stature and power.  Since they are foreshadowed by Saturn, all have decreased."

I swear to God I’m not making this stuff up.  It’s a damn shame that there’s no link to the Feb 15/06 story, "Stars not on his side," from The Nation.

My greatest fear is not that web surfers won’t believe me, but that hordes of militant astrologists might go on a rampage if I heap scorn upon the sacred beliefs of Prime Minister Moonbeam.

UPDATE (Feb 16/06):  These things must work fast in Thailand.  CNN International just today announced that the Thai Supreme Court rejected the bid for Thaksin’s removal.

UPDATE (Mar 22/06):  Thaksin recently fired his personal astrologer, after the fortune teller told him that the stars were "not in his favor and he should step down."

Yesterday, a religious shrine was attacked by a mentally ill man, and the astrologer had this to say:

"This is a very unlucky omen, especially since the perpetrator was crazy and was killed after committing the sacrilege…This is a sign that if the prime minister doesn’t resign the country must sacrifice blood."

Don’t you hate it when the stars turn against you like that?

Think You Had a Bad Day?

A female ice-skater fell through the ice into a freezing lake in Hungary and survived by holding on to the edge of the ice with her teeth.  Hungary’s Bilkk newspaper reports that after the 29-year-old woman fell into the water, frostbite set into her hands and she could only hang on to the broken ice with her teeth.

Some people walking by discovered her 10 minutes later.  The woman was taken to a nearby hospital to be treated for hypothermia.

(From the story, "Saved by the Hair of Her Teeth" in the Feb 15/06 edition of The Nation.  Sorry, no link is available.)

As the Scandanavian expression goes, "Heroism is holding on for just one minute longer."

Batman Steps into the Cartoon Crisis

They don’t call him "The Caped Crusader" for nothing:

[Comic book writer Frank Miller] proudly announced the title of his next Batman book, which he will write, draw and ink…And Miller doesn’t hold back on the true purpose of the book, calling it "a piece of propaganda," where ‘Batman kicks al Qaeda’s ass…"

"The Greeks had their Gods and heroes," Miller said. "We have ours." And if you truly consider these characters our mythological figureheads, you have to wonder about their place and purpose in our culture. "What are they there for?" Miller asked, rhetorically…

"It just seems silly to chase around the Riddler when you’ve got Al Qaeda out there."

But don’t tell Human Rights Watch that the Dark Knight is on the case.  Miller’s Batman throws razor-sharp batarangs, interrogates criminals by dangling them head-first from skyscrapers, and has been known to render mass murderers quadriplegics by twisting their necks until they break.

He’s not exactly an "I feel your pain" kinda guy.

The Dark Knight Returns cover (Batman sihoueted against a dark sky and a bolt of lightning)

Welcome to the fight.

(Hat tip to The Belmont Club.)

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