Diplomatic Leverage

Having failed to enlist America in its attempts to stop Taiwan from abolishing a council with a $30 a year annual budget, China yesterday desperately appealed to the mighty UN for help from this insidious threat to its very existence:

Watch your step, Taiwan!  Maybe we’ll expel you from the Security Council!

(Sorry fellas.  Already been done.)

OK then, maybe we’ll just have to reject your bid for a seat in the General Assembly!

(Nope, won’t work either.  That happens EVERY year.)

Uhhh, suppose we COULD put your World Health Organization application on the back burner…

(Pfft.  Like it was ever on the fast track?)

OK, think, people, think!  Abolishing councils that’ve been defunct for seven years is almost as serious as the publication of cartoons, and we all know what Kofi thought about THAT.  Taiwan simply must be made to face the music!

(Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose…)

How Do They Get Away With That, Anyway?

Taiwan’s decision to abolish the National Unification Council (NUC) and National Unification Guidelines (NUG) has set China into a full rage spin control, with China declaring to any and all who will listen that Chen’s move is a provocation which will lead to destabilizing tensions between the two countries.  It’s a terrific act, but a single paragraph in the Taiwan News put the whole thing into perspective:

In fact, Beijing was once critical of the NUG and NUC, pointing to them as major obstacles to China’s unification with Taiwan, and as efforts by Taiwan to push for its memberships in international organizations as an independent political entity, Chang said.

That’s hilarious!  You see how this works?  China said that ESTABLISHING the council in 1990 was a provocation.  And abolishing it in 2006?  Well, that was a provocation, too!  My, my, those Taiwanese certainly ARE troublemakers.  Why are they always picking on poor, peaceful little China like that?

Exactly WHERE is the mainstream media on this, that’s what I want to know.  Journalists usually love to juxtapose politicians’ current stands with old quotes that they’ve managed to dig up.  Reporters relish watching a pol squirm as he tries to weasel out of what he’s said before.  A quick LexisNexis search here, and they’d be in business.  Are they simply too lazy to do one, or are transparently flimsy pretexts somehow deserving of a special pass?

(Double thank-you’s to Michael Turton for first spotting the quote, and then for fixing the story link.)


UPDATE (Mar 4/06):  In criticizing the press, I neglected to mention the Taiwanese government.  They’ve known that Chen was thinking about getting rid of the NUC for the last month now, so why didn’t they have musty old copies of The New York Times ready on hand to show foreign governments?  They could have pre-empted China’s "provocation" guff early on, or else presented those old quotes immediately afterwards in order to make Beijing look foolish.

God, that would have been beautiful.

Wile E. Coyote vs. President Chen

Taking a page from the clever coyote, Taiwan’s KMT and other capitulationist parties have dusted off their Acme™ Impeachment Rocket©, and taken careful aim at President Chen.

Wile E. Coyote lighting rocket he is strapped to

His crime?

Illegally wiretapping the political opposition?  Lying to a grand jury?  Making an illegal $1.88 billion stock sale through a dummy investment corporation?

No, no, much worse than any of that.

He abolished a council with a thirty dollar a year budget that hasn’t convened in seven years.

And so, in spite of The China Post‘s sober words of caution*, Chen’s ever-shrewd opponents press ahead in the certainty that impeaching him over this unpardonable enormity will be a permanent stain on his record, an embarrassment which’ll forever render him a laughingstock.  The coyote, having lost his mind along with his sense of proportion, rubs his hands together in eager anticipation as the roadrunner comes into view…

Wile E. Coyote licking lips on top of a cliff while holding binoculars

Please call me when it’s over.  At age FIVE I knew how it would end.


* It is in no spirit of mockery that I describe The China Post‘s editorial, "Impeachment could bring instability" as containing "sober words of caution".  While the paper’s editorial board obviously loathes Chen, here’s one of their thoughts that neutral observers would likely agree with:

"…we should avoid taking extreme measures [ie: recall or impeachment] that could promote instability and wreak havoc on our system of constitutional government."


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Job Opening

Wanna be an intelligence analyst, but the CIA & KGB turned you down?  There’s still hope.

Disney’s hiring.

Sounds like a joke, but one commenter had this to say:

Most corporations are trying to build similar functions…Disney runs a cruise line… Think of the symbolism for the jihadists…if they can slaughter infidels’ children at a Disney temple to materialism. Would you be giggling if this job were at a chemical plant, medical research lab or sea port? But how often have you taken your kids to any of those places?

It’s a sick, sad world.

Feb 28. On The Other Hand…

A day after writing my post February 28, it dawned on me that there was another way of thinking about The China Post‘s editorial on Taiwan’s infamous February 28 Massacre which was was a bit more sympathetic.  My earlier post was predicated on the assumption that The China Post is a KMT newspaper.  However, if one supposes that it’s actually a mainlander paper, then one can view what they wrote in rather different terms.

To start with, a quick background:

The population of Taiwan is composed of four major groups: Hoklos, Hakkas, mainlanders and aborigines.  About 70% of the population are Hoklo – descendants of southern Chinese who migrated to Taiwan four or five hundred years ago.  The feelings that this group has towards China are ambivalent, sometimes hostile.  Another 10% are Hakkas, who arrived from the mainland about three or four hundred years ago.  Roughly 20% are "mainlanders" – immigrants from China (or their descendants) who arrived in Taiwan after the KMT was defeated on the mainland.  And finally, about 2% are aborigines related to Pacific Islanders.  Numerically, economically and politically, aborigines are the least influential of the four groups.

With that explained, it is now possible to view the February 28 Massacre through two different lenses.  On the one hand, it can be seen as a political conflict between the KMT party and the native Taiwanese.  But on the other, it can be interpreted as an ethnic conflict between Hoklos and mainlanders.

The dangerous thing about thinking about 228 as an ethnic conflict is that doing so threatens to create rancor among ethnic groups, and may make future inter-ethnic conflict more likely.  That of course is in no ones interest, least of all minority mainlanders.  Wide-scale bitterness towards a political party can always be remedied by closing up shop or by the party renaming itself, which is what communist parties in the Eastern Bloc did after 1989.  But your ethnicity is your ethnicity until the day you die.  Hence The China Post‘s perfectly valid desire, as a mainlander paper, to ease hostility towards mainlanders.

Of course, The China Post is both a KMT AND a mainlander paper, so the analyses in BOTH this post and the previous post are partly true.  My chief objection to The China Post‘s editorial was its suggestion that the Taiwanese should not only bury the hatchet, but sweep all their questions under the rug as well.  It seems to me that if I were a mainlander, I wouldn’t want people to stop asking questions about the 228 Massacre.  Instead, I would want to do all that I could to direct the blame away from mainlanders per se and onto the KMT of old, along with its former leader, now long dead.

But because The China Post is also a KMT newspaper, this is something we will never see.