Month: August 2010

The Future’s So Bright They Gotta Wear…

Aw, you know.  And just when I thought I'd done the whole "Ayatollah Ma Ying-jeou" thing to death, the ruling KMT party graciously provides more material:

Supreme Leader of Taiwan: Ma Ying-jeou. Supreme Leader of Iran: Ayatollah Khamenei. Both wear sunglasses. Caption: Chinese Ultranationalist government of Taiwan seeks closer relations with Iranian Islamofascists.

Great fun at the China Post's comments section there.  With anti-Semitic Chinese knuckledraggers who are apparently still unaware that Israel left Gaza a few YEARS ago.  And a buffoon who insists the issue is a sacred matter of R.O.C. sovereignty — after voicing in a previous thread his approval for Peking to determine Taiwan's immigration policies.

UPDATE:  Has anyone in Taiwan had the gumption to ask the urbane, American-educated Ma what his position is on the stoning of adulteresses?  Or is that something they didn't cover at Harvard Law School?

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Fish Quietly And Send A Big Gunboat

Chinese militarists direct a fleet of 10 fishing trawlers to intentionally violate Indonesia's Exclusive Economic Zone, then train gunboat weapons on the Indonesian Coast Guard ship that attempts to detain one of them.

The Klingons don't take prisoners, Mr. Saavik.

Chinese dictator Hu Jintao holding a dead cartoon fish. Caption: Your Natural Resources Are All Belong To Us.

UPDATE:  Related analysis by Gordon Chang here.

UPDATE #2:  Heh.  Daniel Drezner describes events such as these as part of China's shrewd "Pissing Off As Many Countries As Possible" grand strategy.

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‘Coz Every Girl’s Crazy ‘Bout A Sharp-Dressed Man

From the fashion houses of Beijing, the hottest designers bring you the very latest styles.  And no self-respecting Chinese stormtrooper would be caught dead without these chic ensembles.

Head straight, eyes forward, maggots!

People's Liberation Army soldier standing at attention, head not drooping down because of needles in his collar.

Close-up of People's Liberation Army soldier with needles in his collar.

PLA soldiers in formation, each with needles in their collars.

Chairman Hu TOLD you not to slouch…

People's Liberation Soldiers kept ramrod straight by crosses held behind their backs.

People's Liberation Soldiers kept ramrod straight by crosses held behind their backs.

"They immediately put irons on his legs and took him to a regiment.  He was taught how to make right and left turns, raise and lower the ramrod, take aim, fire, and march double time, and he was beaten thirty times with a stick.  The next day he performed his drills a little less badly and was given only twenty strokes; the following day he was given only ten, and his fellow soldiers regarded him as a prodigy."

-Voltaire, Candide

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Taiwanese President Ma Ying-jeou Vows To Clamp Down On Corruption

Perhaps one of these days he'll demonstrate all that sincerity of his by having a good talking to that premier he appointed.  You know, the guy who vacations with double-murdering Chinese mafiosos.

Chinese Communists Would Conquer Taiwan In Three Days

According to the most recent computer wargame simulations conducted by the island nation's Ministry of National Defense.

The ruling Chinese Nationalist Party of Taiwan was said to be horrified by the revelation, and vowed to rectify the country's precarious situation by blocking all weapons procurement bills at least 60 times over the course of the next two years.