The Graves Of My Ancestors

Taiwan’s China Post puts forth the notion that Taiwanese traveling to China to find ancestral graves and meet distant relatives constitutes proof that Taiwan is an indivisible part of China:

…President Chen’s own relatives have taken ancestry research experts to his ancestral hometown in mainland China in an effort to seek out the roots of Chen’s family heritage.

If DPP leaders really want to stress our separateness from the Chinese mainland, we suggest they cease all contacts with relatives on the other side of the Taiwan Strait.

For that matter, our leaders should truly put their money where their mouth is by changing their surnames and "starting" their own "new" family traditions.

Why not rap Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton for visiting THEIR European relatives, too?  Poor fools never realized how deeply their little family reunions were undercutting the argument for American sovereignty!

(Not to mention that Washington fellow.  If he’d REALLY been committed to American independence, wouldn’t he have changed his name to cut all ties to the mother country?)

I know that the China Post bills itself as "bridging the gap between East and West," but this is definitely one argument that’s not likely to impress too many of its Western readers.  Give it a try sometime.  Next time you talk to the folks back home, inform them that the bones of your ancestors are interred in the Old Country, and for that reason, you owe your allegiance to the Principality of Liechtenstein.

Let me know how that works out for you.

Red Shirts And Mittens

Cleaning up a stack of old papers here, and I stumbled across this little Reuters story in the Sep 12th edition of the China Post:

Hundreds of Latvians knitting 4,500 pairs of woolen mittens as gifts for the November NATO summit have been told to avoid a folk symbol said to ward off evil since it looks like a Nazi swastika.

[…]

The Thunder Cross [or Fire Cross]…quite commonly features on such mittens and other folk items in Latvian shops.

Good call.  While the Thunder Cross may have positive connotations for people living in Latvia, the swastika’s got some pretty negative ones for the rest of Europe.

Anyone who lives in Taiwan probably sees where I’m going with this.  How is it that the Latvians managed to prevent a major diplomatic snafu with their decision not to hand out swastika mitts, but the anti-Chen crowd in Taiwan weren’t smart enough to figure out that people might just have a FEW doubts about their intentions if they adopted red as their "party" color?

I mean, this isn’t nuclear physics here.  If you’re part of a European military organization, it’s a BAD idea to wear swastikas on your clothing.  ‘Cause if you do, no one’s going to buy your story that it’s really just your "lucky Latvian Thunder Cross".

By the same token, if you live in a country like Taiwan, which owes its very EXISTENCE to the struggle against communism, getting your followers to wear red while demonstrating against a democratically-elected president is bound to raise a few eyebrows.  If you innocently claim the color simply represents "people’s anger against the president", some folks are going to be a bit sceptical.

I don’t want to be the guy who sees a red under every bed, but…c’mon.  You live 100 miles from COMMUNIST CHINA, and you chose RED as your rallying color?

At best, their sartorial choice shows exceptionally poor judgement.  And that’s the kindest thing I can possibly say about it.

Ma’s “Checkers” Speech

From Sunday’s Taipei Times:

"I adopted the dog during an event held by the city government," [Ma Ying-jeou, the chairman of the KMT] said while attending the International Car-free Day event sponsored by the Taipei city and county governments. "I didn’t know the adoption and examination fee was paid for by the [mayor’s office] fund."

[…]

"I thought my wife paid for it, and didn’t know the money was from the [mayor’s office] fund until recently.  Although the budget, accounting and statistics department said the procedure is legal, I was uneasy and paid the money back," he said.

Ma’s accused of embezzling about $90,000 NT ($2,700).  Now he did pay the money back, though it was seven years later, after he was caught.  I don’t blame the moderate independence party for wanting to show that Ma is dirty, but I really hope they pursue this one carefully.  There’s a lot of potential here for Ma to put this dog on national television and make his accusers look like cold-hearted bad guys.

(One question.  Ma Ying-jeou reportedly named the stray Ma Hsiao-jeou.  Is it really the custom here for people to give dogs the family name?)

Coup Attempt In Thailand

It’s 1 am Wednesday morning, and a coup in Thailand is in process.  Readers may remember that I’ve previously supported the LEGAL removal of Prime Minister Thaksin.  This of course, is a whole other animal.

Thailand may be a long ways away, but these events couldn’t have happened at a worse time for Taiwan.  Isolated incidents of violence between supporters and opponents of President Chen Shui-bian have been reported in the last few days, KMT media figures have written newpaper columns outlining strategies for removing the president using force, and KMT lawmakers donned the RED SHIRTS of the anti-Chen movement yesterday to begin chanting "Depose Chen" slogans from the floor of the nation’s legislature.

In certain quarters, it won’t be long before people enviously wonder: If Thailand, why not Taiwan?

Should the KMT pull a stunt like that here, America should register its disapproval by immediately withdrawing President Bush’s 2001 weapons offer.  The irony is that the KMT could hardly cry foul, given that they themselves have blocked the bill 56 times within the last two years.

Acts Of Brutality

Well, there goes THAT promise.  The one where I was going to wait a few days before commenting on current events here in Taiwan.  Let’s just say the devil made me do it.

Actually, it was the China Post, and its claim yesterday that changing the airport’s name from Chiang Kai-Shek to Taiwan Taoyuan International was "a show of brutal power".

Somebody call the International Criminal Court.  President "Snidely Whiplash" Chen just renamed an airport.  Why, this is the greatest injustice in the history of the world!

Cost

The China Post‘s first objection was the expense.  Twenty one million NT dollars ($640,000 US), give or take.  That, and the move did nothing to improve the economy.

Which isn’t bad as arguments go.  It’s just that I wonder if someone could produce for me an editorial by that paper denouncing the KMT’s renaming of Taiwanese streets, neighborhoods and mountains back in the late ’40s.  A great many of THOSE had Japanese names prior to retrocession, and all of them were given Chinese names afterwards.

In the process, I daresay the KMT spent a whole lot more than $21 million NT.  And on top of that, post-war Taiwan was in a far poorer position to afford that kind of money than it is today.

So I ask you: Did any of the KMT’s more expensive name changes do anything to improve Taiwan’s economy back then?  If they didn’t, where was the China Post‘s outrage?

Cutting the cord

Even more absurd was this statement:

"The name change of Chiang Kai-shek International Airport is but the latest example of [President] Chen’s…all out efforts to cut the umbilical cord between China and Taiwan."

Maybe there are some linguists out there who could help me out a little here.  Isn’t the word "Taoyuan" Chinese, or does it originate from some other language, like Swahili or something?  Pray tell, how does an airport name change from Chiang Kai-shek (a Chinese PERSON) to Taiwan Taoyuan (a Chinese PLACE*) move Taiwan any further from China?  They’re still both Chinese names, or am I missing something?

It’s a bloody Cultural Revolution, is what it is!**

Next, the China Post makes mountains out of molehills.  Renaming airports is just like the Chinese Cultural Revolution, and will end up just as badly.  President Chen and Chairman Mao are the same, both denouncing and destroying people.

It seems more than a little ironic that on the same page as this bit of hysterical hyperbole was a column about the REAL Cultural Revolution.  You know, the one where 11 year-old kids had to denounce their parents after the Red Guards killed them.  Re-education camps, that sort of thing.

Try as I might, I found nothing in that column about the survivors objecting to any airport name changes Mao might have made at the time.  Though I’m sure the ones he actually DID make must have increased their sufferings immeasurably.

Actually, when you think about it, Chiang’s wholesale renaming of Taiwanese place names and his White Terror period resembles Mao’s Cultural Revolution far more than anything that Chen’s done.  Despite that however, the China Post continues to hail Chiang as a "symbol of the Chinese nation and a towering figure in contemporary Chinese history".

As for Chen?  Why, six years in office, and he STILL hasn’t killed or imprisoned anyone yet.

Amateur!

A Rose by any other Name, yada yada

The paper closes with philosophical food for thought, asking us, "What’s in a name?  A rose smells as sweet if called by any other name."

Which of course, is a testable claim if ever I saw one.  Perhaps instead of "Taiwan Taoyuan", the airport should have been named in honor of another "towering figure" in contemporary Taiwanese and Chinese history:

Hideki Tojo (Prime Minister of Japan 1941-1944)


* Please, no objections that Taoyuan is Taiwanese and not Chinese.  There’s at least one "Taoyuan" township in northeast China.

** This heading sounds a lot better when read aloud in a Cockney accent.


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Release The Hounds

One KMT legislator obviously misses the good old days of political prisons, barbed wire, and vicious guard dogs:

[KMT lawmaker Hung Hsiu-chu (洪秀柱)] has trained her black medium-sized terrier to growl and attack whenever it hears the word, "A-Bian," the nickname of President Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁).

Memo to President Chen: Do NOT accept any dinner invitations from this woman.

KMT legislator Hung Hsiu-chu with her dog trained to growl and attack when the name of Taiwan's president is uttered

‘Course, obsessions like Hung’s can sometimes turn around and bite you in the – well, let’s see how the story ends:

To show off the dog’s unique talent, the trainer repeatedly shouted, "A-bian" to provoke the dog, which eventually became so agitated it attacked a female reporter, biting her on the abdomen.

Abdomen.  That’s the word I was looking for.  Obsessions can sometimes turn around and bite you in the ABDOMEN.

Mr. Burns in old-timey boxing clothing training a dog to attackDog enraged by Mr. Burn's goadingMr. Burns smiling after dog has been provoked into attacking him

Poke-ah, poke-ah, poke-ah…


UPDATE (Aug 5/06):  Wandering to Tamsui has a translated partial transcript of the incident.


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If The KMT’s So Confident About Ma’s Electability…

Why the persistent rumors of a 2008 ticket featuring political corpse Lien Chan for president, with current KMT chairman Ma Ying-jeou relegated to the spot of V.P.?

That’s gotta feel good.  Ma claws his way to the top of the KMT pyramid, only to find some folks STILL want the former chairman to be prez.  And notice we don’t see Lien working too hard to dispel those rumors, either.  You know, like saying he can’t run again because he’s too busy enjoying the time with the grandkids, or having too much fun with his unofficial visits back to the Chinese fatherland.

I can just imagine folks from the centrist Taiwanese independence party burning incense in the local temples, praying, "Oh please, please, let it be true!"

Well, since we’re on the subject, I’ve got another DREAM ticket for ya:

Michael Dukakis in a tankHillary Clinton at a podium

C’mon, Dukakis – Clinton in ’08 makes WAY more sense than Lien – Ma.  After all, who’s the more attractive candidate – the guy who’s only lost one race for the presidency, or the guy who’s lost TWO?

(Micheal Dukakis photo from Digitaljournalist.org.  Hillary Rodham Clinton photo from Yale.edu.)


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The Morning After

Ever wonder what it’s gonna be like for KMT members the morning AFTER the vote’s been held to impeach President Chen?  I mean, they’ve just spent an entire month in an anti-Chen delirium.  Marching.  Yelling.  Encouraging their kids to throw eggs at Chen posters.  Boy, it sure felt good.

But like all good things, it had to come to an end sometime.  Chen’s party looked at the charges, and saw nine out of ten were political in nature.  As for the remaining charge, corruption, there was no firm evidence that Chen was personally involved.  Chen’s party held their ranks, and the KMT failed to get the two thirds vote necessary to remove him from office.

So now, after one incredible, dizzying month, comes the hangover.  The consolation prize – toppling the cabinet – must look about as appealing as a bowlful of cold porridge.  And like most hangovers, the most dominant feeling will be the one of regret.

The Chen haters will regret that they couldn’t bring down the president despite his low poll numbers.  How could he survive?  Didn’t the polls say he had only a 5.8% approval rating?

That, they did.  ‘Cept the polls ALSO said the KMT would win the 2004 presidential election.  Doncha hate it when life throws ya curve balls like that?

Personally, I can’t summon up much sympathy for the Chen haters, the guys who just a few months ago sought his removal for abolishing a defunct council which for the last seven years has had no meetings, no budget, and no members.  No, my sympathy’s for the other guys, the guys in the party who hate graft, and truly believe that Chen’s guilty as sin.

Don’t laugh about the "hating graft" part.  Not every KMT member’s corrupt.  Sure, you can call them hypocritical, if you like.  After all, the KMT has a LOT of ill-gotten assets.  But if your old man left you a massive inheritance, how quickly would YOU give it all back if you learned that he had stolen most of it a long, long time ago?

Those are the guys right now who’re slapping their heads and muttering, "We shoulda listened to Ma!"  (That would be Chairman Ma of the KMT:  Ma Ying-jeou.)  You see, Ma’s first instinct was the right one:  Let’s wait until we have hard evidence that Chen himself is corrupt, THEN let’s move on to impeachment.  If the KMT had waited and gotten that evidence, then Chen’s party would have deserted him.  They would have deserted him, or they’d have been thrown out of office in the next election.  No one’s going to risk their job defending a crook.

That approach would have required patience, however.  Instead, the KMT listened to the counsel of fanatics like James Soong, who insisted on striking while the iron was hot.  We’ve always hated Chen and everything he stands for, said Soong, but now the public has turned against him as well.  The man’s got a 5.8% approval rating, for cryin’ out loud!

Evidence?  We don’t need no stinkin’ evidence!

At that point, someone should’ve cleared his throat and announced that all of this was well and good, but why should Soong’s advice be preferred over Ma’s?  When you think about it, Soong has lost not one, but TWO presidential elections to Chen, in 2000 and in 2004.  Ma, on the other hand, actually BEAT Chen in a mayoral campaign back in 1996.  Who on earth would take strategy lessons from a two-time loser instead of a proven winner?

The KMT, that’s who.  Meanwhile Chairman Ma, sensing an immanent party revolt, switched positions.  It was a terrible move for the country, but a terrific move for himself.*

Here’s why:

Suppose for a moment, just for a moment, that Chen really IS guilty.  My gut feeling is that he’s just being railroaded by some pretty unpleasant people, but I confess to having a few doubts.  Why did he say that his wife never directly received vouchers from the SOGO department store [as a bribe]?  Was it Clintonesque parsing, or just an innocent slip of the tongue?  The China Post naturally assumes the former, and for all I know, they may be right.  But I would defy ANYONE to give a two hour long speech like the one he gave without making a few mistakes.  Heck, I can’t talk for two MINUTES without some kind of flub.

(Just the other day, I met a group of Taiwanese acquaintances, including one by the name of "Joy."  Now, all of us know another woman with the same name, so I asked them if they’d seen the OTHER "Joy" around.  "You know," I said, "the THIN one.")

(Whoops.  That’s not the way it was supposed to come out!)

Anyways, suppose Chen’s really guilty, but no one knows that for sure because the KMT was too lazy to do the hard work of proving it.  As I said earlier, his party isn’t convinced of his guilt, so they stand behind him and he walks.  That’s bad, but something even worse can happen later.

The absolute worst part of all this is that incriminating evidence could show up next week, and that evidence would no longer matter in any legal sense.  As Ma said a month ago, there’s only one bullet in the chamber.  There’s one, and only one, chance to impeach this president.  An impeachment vote against a Taiwanese president can only be made once every three years, so if this attempt fails, then no more attempts are possible.  (Chen is constitutionally obligated to step down at the end of his second term in two years.)  As bad as it is for the guilty to go unpunished, I regard it as much worse for the PROVABLY guilty to go unpunished.  This impeachment bid, which Ma said was irresponsible but went along with anyway, now makes the latter an unfortunate possibility.

Now, let’s assume something else.  I’ve considered the possibility of Chen being guilty, so let’s now consider the opposite.  Suppose Chen is innocent, as I believe him to be.  The impeachment bid fails, and an innocent president keeps his job.  No harm done, right?

Wrong.  There are opportunity costs involved in the impeachment effort, legislative roads not taken that might have been more productive.  Hurricane season is upon us, and still a flood control bill languishes.  An innocent president may indeed walk, but innocent Taiwanese may soon end up swimming or drowning.  Their houses may be deprived of electricity, or buried entirely by suffocating mud.  Those are not insignificant costs for the public to wind up paying for this little foregone conclusion.

Finally, there is one other harmful effect that could potentially happen.  A month ago, a member of James Soong’s People First Party suggested that the threat of a presidential impeachment was a good thing, because it gave an incentive for the president’s family and associates to walk the straight and narrow.  Much as I disapprove of the PFP’s capitulationist policies towards China, I have to admit that I admired that legislator’s thoughts on deterring corruption.  Sadly however, he hadn’t followed this avenue of thought to it’s logical conclusion.  If he had, I believe he would have come out against the impeachment vote.

Think on it:  If someone trains "a gun with one bullet" on you, you have a powerful incentive to tread softly.  If he fires and misses, that incentive instantly vanishes and you breathe a sigh of relief.

Likewise with the impeachment bid.  Hang a legal Sword of Damocles over Chen’s head, and those close to him have a powerful incentive to behave themselves.  Let it fall harmlessly, and that incentive disappears.  In fact, a perverse incentive has just been created.  My man Chen’s untouchable from now on, some folks might reason, so why shouldn’t I get mine?

Thus a measure intended to punish corruption, might, paradoxically, end up encouraging it.


* I believe Ma’s change of heart on the impeachment issue ends up strengthening his leadership role in the KMT.  For as soon as impeachment fails, his initial circumspection will be lauded.

"If only we had listened to the wise leadership of our beloved Chairman…" moderates will sigh, as they ponder what might have been had they had waited to get the full evidence.

The hawks might say that too through gritted teeth, but they too, will find Ma more attractive now.  He’s just proven that he’s a team player, not some kind of Achilles pouting in his tent when he doesn’t get his way.  Alright, so he was a little reluctant to embrace the impeachment drive, but that can be forgiven.  What matters is that he put his game face on, and gave it 110%, despite his initial reservations.

At the end of the day, the entire episode leaves moderates admiring Ma.

And hawks?  Right now, they LOVE the guy.


N.B.  Since this was written BEFORE the actual vote was taken, I don’t actually KNOW that the impeachment will fail.  Seems a pretty safe guess, though.


UPDATE (June 27/06):  Came home this evening, and saw a somber Ma Ying-jeou on TV saying something in Mandarin.  Take it that means the impeachment failed.

The View from Taiwan confirms what we all expected.  While I’m happy that Chen gets to keep his job, I’m even happier that I don’t have to hit the delete button on this post.

Me, selfish?  You’d better believe it!

UPDATE #2 (Jun 27/06):  I originally wrote that polls gave Chen an approval rating of 20%, but later remembered that there was one poll where his numbers were a LOT lower.  Sure enough, this poll gave him an approval rating of 5.8%.  The number has been corrected in the post.

UPDATE (June 28/06):  The English-language media here gave me the impression that impeachment could only be attempted once every three years.  One of President Chen’s enemies says otherwise:

Although the proposal to recall the president failed to pass, People First Party (PFP) legislators yesterday immediately drafted a motion to topple the Cabinet, with party Chairman James Soong (宋楚瑜) saying they would push for a another recall motion after a new legislature is convened. [Emphasis added]

"As long as the Cabinet dissolution plan doesn’t fail, it is certain that [a second] motion to recall the president will succeed," Soong told people before ending a sit-in outside the legislature.

I take it as a given that Soong understands the rules for presidential recalls better than I do.  Still, it really looks like he’s counting his chickens before they hatch.  Before his little plan can come to fruition, he has to topple the cabinet, Chen has to dissolve the legislature, and Chen’s enemies have to pick up 2/3rds of the seats in the new legislature.

Problem is, the KMT hasn’t committed itself to that course of action yet.

Even if they do sign on and topple the cabinet, President Chen would have to be so stupid as to dissolve the legislature without taking a look at the polls first.  The KMT and its allies need to hold 2/3rds of the seats for an impeachment / recall to succeed, but if Chen believes they’ll pick up that many seats, there’s no way he’ll dissolve the legislature.

Chen will only dissolve the legislature if he thinks it’ll be advantageous for him to do so.  Otherwise, he simply installs a new premier and cabinet.

Cold Feet

A few weeks ago, the China Post suggested that the KMT could spend the next two years toppling premier after premier, cabinet after cabinet.  The notion that the KMT could do this repeatedly and not eventually be punished by the voters seemed absurd to me.  Fooling all the people all the time, and all of that.

So it came as a bit of a surprise when the China Post ran up the white flag on a cabinet non-confidence vote earlier this week:

The recall campaign was a bad play from the very beginning. Ma Ying-jeou, chairman of the Kuomintang who demanded President Chen to resign but didn’t want to recall him, was forced by the hawks within the opposition party* to join in the [presidential impeachment] campaign James Soong had launched…

Then…the Kuomintang started to collect the signatures of at least eight million eligible voters who want the president to step down.

That’s significant because at least 8 million voters would have to give Chen the thumbs down in a referendum for a recall to be sucessful.  A formal referendum would be unnecessary were Chen to resign after being presented with a non-binding petition showing 8 million would vote for his ouster.

Although [Ma] claims seven out of every ten voters wish the president would quit, the public has responded very coolly to the collection of signatures — less than one million signatures collected so far.  [I believe the number was about half a million as of Monday – The Foreigner] The tide seems turning in President Chen’s favor since Ma decided to join in the fray.

Fortunately, the bad play may come to an end with the lawmakers voting on the recall motion…Please do not go on trying to impeach the president, though he deserves a recall. Nor should a no confidence vote on Premier Su Tseng-chang be initiated, for the Cabinet may be toppled but the president will remain unscathed.  Should Ma decide instead to pursue the anti-Chen drive to the end, Taiwan would see its political chaos worse confounded. [Emphasis added]

Thus reason slowly reasserts itself.  But of course, that’s just at one newspaper.  What about within the legislative ranks of the KMT itself?

Some Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) legislators yesterday urged People First People (PFP) Chairman James Soong (宋楚瑜) to abandon a plan to push for a motion to topple the Cabinet, saying that it might damage KMT Chairman Ma Ying-jeou (馬英九).

"Ma has been raped by Soong one time. I appeal to Soong not to rape Ma again," KMT Legislator Chang Sho-wen (張碩文) said, referring to when Ma swapped his initial hesitation regarding the [presidential] recall motion to become its supporter, because of pressure from pan-blue camp leaders.

Ma raped by Soong?  Eww, tone it down, fellas.  Led around the nose, maybe, but not raped.

"The Cabinet’s dissolution will cause social turmoil and influence economic performance, and the KMT will be blamed for all this," [Chang] said.

Chang may be wrong about the last part.  Maybe the KMT can avoid the blame – this time.  Maybe they can get away with toppling one cabinet, maybe even two.  But voters aren’t stupid, and the KMT can’t keep doing that with impunity for the next two years.  So the China Post‘s latest position is the correct one:  At the end of the day, Chen will still be standing, and the KMT is gonna look mighty impotent if it insists on imitating the gang that can’t shoot straight.


* Ma was also pressured by anti-Chen media figures, as evidenced by this piece that all but questioned his manhood for not supporting the impeachment drive.