Tag: Charlie Hebdo massacre

In Which It Is Mathematically Proven That Barack Hussein Obama Is An Anti-Semitic Liar

The American president made quite an extraordinary claim recently: that the Islamofascist zealot of indeterminate religion and ideology who recently murdered 4 Jews in Paris did so randomly, without targeting them because of their religious affiliation.

After the initial reaction of incredulity subsided, I decided to subject Mr. Obama’s assertion to pitiless, objective mathematical analysis. What exactly are the odds that 4 Jews could be randomly murdered in Paris by a single killer (as Mr. Obama would have us believe)?

The probability that a random murder in Paris will involve ONE Jew as the victim shall be defined as P1, and is determined by the following equation:

P1 = NJ / NT

Where NJ = Number of Jews living in metropolitan Paris
           NT = Total number of people living in metropolitan Paris

Given Mr. Obama’s claim that the murders were unrelated, independent events, the probability that 4 Jews were randomly murdered in succession by a single individual is given by the variable Pt:

Pt = P1 * P1 * P1 * P1 = (P1)4

Now, according to the latest statistics, there are 283,000 Jews currently living in metropolitan Paris, out of a total population of 12,292,895. This allows us to solve for Pt:

Pt = (283,000 / 12,292,895)4

Pt = 0.0000002808853275

Pt = 0.000000281 (reduced to 3 significant figures)

The result can be multiplied by 100 to arrive at a percentage:

Pt (%) = 0.0000281%

Thus, there is a 0.0000281% chance that the 4 Jews were randomly killed (and therefore, that the American president is telling the truth).

Or, in starker terms, the likelihood that Mr. Obama is lying through his teeth is 99.9999719%.

The science is settled.



UPDATE: Much hilarity ensues as clueless (and thoroughly incompetent) State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki is unaware that:

  1. Jews (and not Buddhists!) preferentially patronize kosher supermarkets
  2. All 4 victims of Muslim terrorist Amedy Coulibaly were Jewish (and subsequently buried in Israel)
  3. Amedy Coulibaly himself publicly declared, “I have 16 hostages and I have killed four, and I targeted them because they were Jewish.”

UPDATE #2: Of course, there is also the possibility that President Obama is not an anti-Semitic liar, and he simply spoke without thinking.

Certainly, if he were willing to admit that the Muslim terrorist who murdered the 4 Jewish shoppers targeted them because of their religion (and not randomly), then the mathematical proof that Mr. Obama is an anti-Semitic liar would be rendered invalid.

UPDATE (Feb 11 / 2015):  Hmmm

What if a white racist with a submachine gun broke into a convenience store in South Central Los Angeles, grabbed seven or eight African Americans who were shopping (maybe there was one Korean) as hostages for the release of some other white racists and then, when attacked, started spewing the N-word while shooting up the place, killing three or four of the African Americans and wounding three or four others, one or two critically.

How would President Obama react?

I suspect he wouldn't say the victims were just "a bunch of folks" who were "randomly" targeted and killed.

UPDATE #4: More insults to our intelligence from Barack Obama's spokesman, Josh Earnest

"The individuals who were killed in that terrible, tragic incident, were killed not because of who they were, but because of where they randomly happened to be!"

America's best and brightest.

UPDATE #5: "…the president is more inclined to call out Christian crimes against the Rhineland Jews of 1096 than Islamic crimes against Jews today."

An interesting point in that last link: If the attacks in Paris were so random, why are French soldiers standing guard at synagogues and Jewish schools, instead of at random street corners?

Perhaps they just don't understand the nature of the problem as well as King Putt.

A NEW Testament – For A NEW Millenium

A sneak peak into the latest revisions, via Matthew 5:39

"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also…Unless of course, someone insults thy mother: In which case, puncheth him mightily in the face."
— The Updated King James / Pope Francis Bible (2015)

These fashionable improvements are proving quite popular with the terror-loving Islamofascist set, as a recent still from an anti-Charlie Hebdo rally in London amply illustrates:

Islamofascist march against Charlie Hebdo magazine in London, quoting Pope Francis: 'INSULT MY MUM AND I WILL PUNCH YOU'

(Image from Yahoo.com)

UPDATE: In addition to popes and presidents, it is now au courant for judges too, to make excuses for barbarism: German judge rules a Muslim firebombing of a synagogue was mere arson, not terrorism. In Angela Merkel's Germany, burning down Jewish houses of worship is now considered a somewhat disreputable form of political protest, not savagery.

But only if you're a member of the Master Faith, that is. Neo-Nazis don't get away with that kind of horseshit.

(And nor does anybody else.)

[The Islamofascist perpetrators were only given 200 hours of community service.]

UPDATE #2: President Obama insists that the four Jews murdered by one of the Islamofascists involved in the Charlie Hebdo massacre were just a bunch of folks randomly targeted in a deli.

That makes sense. Y'know, if you're stupid…

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Western Muslims Clearly Haven’t Thought Out How Blasphemy Laws Would Really Work

The definition of stupidity must surely be demanding enaction of blasphemy laws…in countries where you're a religious minority:

Your Honor, I don't know anything about religious theology. I'm just a caveman. Everyday when I drive to the office in my red Mercedes, I'm terrified. I see other cars and wonder, "Are these evil spirits from the netherworld? Are they going to hungrily feast upon my soul?" Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, your modern world CONFUSES and FRIGHTENS me.

But I do know this: When a defendant (such this young Mohammedan gentleman) willfully and maliciously rejects the divinity of Our Lord And Saviour, Jesus Christ, then he displays contempt for the unerring pronouncements on the matter as stipulated by the Council Of Chalcedon.

This places him in direct contravention of Blasphemy Code 3 Section 34.7(g). But since he's a first-time offender, I suggest a lenient sentence: 1,000 lashes in the public square, 50 to be delivered each week over a period of 20 weeks.

I think that's fair.

Saturday Night Live: Phil Hartman before a jury wearing a fine suit and hideous makeup, playing Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

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If You Don’t Want Your Religion Mocked, Maybe Moving To The Land Of VOLTAIRE Was A Bad Idea

Over at the China Post, Father Daniel Bauer splits a few hairs while arguing that criticism of religion is fine, but criticism of religious figures should be off-limits:

But I am an educated westerner and, alas, a literary fellow. And these works ["Canterbury Tales", "The Decameron" and "Candide"] do not make a fool of Jesus Christ personally.

Nothing condones the violence in Paris on Jan. 11. The reasons for it lie at least partially in a catastrophic conflict of cultures. The only good that may come from all this is deeper reflection and understanding which results in greater empathy for victims of insensitivity or cruelty everywhere, and not simply in France. [emphasis added]

If the good father is suggesting that the French need to cater more to Muslim sensitivities, then he'll be delighted to know that that's been going on for quite some time: French authorities are prevented from entering large numbers of Muslim-dominated no-go zones for fear of mob attacks, and French Jews are unable to wear clothing reflecting their religious devotion for fear of being assaulted or murdered by members of the Religion Of Peace™.

Woe be to any Jew lacking the requisite "empathy" with Islamic anti-Semitism!

However, since it's a lazy Sunday evening and I'm feeling charitable, I shall give Father Bauer the benefit of the doubt and assume he does not wish to abolish free speech in the Western World. (A policy which, if enacted, would consign it to an epoch of ignorance and cruelty similar to the 800-year-long Dark Age that Islam currently languishes in the depths of).

Rather, I shall assume that what Father Bauer meant to say was that Muslim immigrants in the West should endeavor to be sensitive to the Western values of their new homeland, and not attempt to transform the West into an Islamofascist shithole resembling the one they emigrated from.

(Well, as a Catholic priest, he might not phrase it exactly that way…)

Mohammed cartoon: man holding a newspaper (the 'WESTERN CIVILIZATION TIMES') with a picture of Kim Jung-un ('OUR NEW FILM CRITIC') and a picture of a crazed, machine gun-toting Muslim ('OUR NEW ART CRITIC')

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Peaceful Members Of The Religion Of Peace™ Peacefully Set Churches Ablaze In Niger

One Christian congregant was burned alive inside.

No doubt his last words were, "This has NOTHING to do with Islam…"

Mohammed cartoon: Muslim throwing Molotov cocktail at Charlie Hebdo magazine while screaming, 'Violent? Moi?!'

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Computers Of Islamic Terrorists Contained Child Pornography

Cherif Kouachi and Amedy Coulibaly (the Islamofascists involved in the Charlie Hebdo massacre) were both perverts of the lowest order, according to the International Business Times:

[In 2010, French detectives] found five child porn photos on Coulibaly's laptop and another 37 on Kouachi's PC. Kouachi's stash included sickening pictures of young boys and girls involved in sexual acts with adults…

Not terribly surprising, considering that the founder of their 7th century death cult repeatedly raped a 9 year-old girl after "marrying" her.

Mohammed cartoon: Mohammed in baby carriage with a pacifier-sucking Aisha. A sign on the carriage reads, 'Just Married'

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