Taiwanese President Ma Ying-jeou Vows To Clamp Down On Corruption

Perhaps one of these days he'll demonstrate all that sincerity of his by having a good talking to that premier he appointed.  You know, the guy who vacations with double-murdering Chinese mafiosos.

Chinese Communists Would Conquer Taiwan In Three Days

According to the most recent computer wargame simulations conducted by the island nation's Ministry of National Defense.

The ruling Chinese Nationalist Party of Taiwan was said to be horrified by the revelation, and vowed to rectify the country's precarious situation by blocking all weapons procurement bills at least 60 times over the course of the next two years.