PhD Holders Say The Darndest Things

From Dr. Joe Hung’s Monday column, Chen: gunslinger at a poker game

[Taiwan’s President Chen Shui-bian] wants voters to receive all four ballots at one stop, making it extremely hard, if not impossible, to abstain from voting on a referendum he has proposed to recover what he calls "ill-gotten" assets of the Kuomintang (KMT).  [emphasis added]

This is just about as silly as the BBC reporter who recently said that the blood-thirsty Sudanese mob baying for the teddy bear teacher’s head was "good-natured".  Dr. Hung: if your heart is so set upon abstaining from next year’s referendums, it ISN’T impossible.  Nor is it extremely difficult.  In fact, it’s as easy as falling off a log.

Dr. Hung, all you gotta do to make your fondest wishes come true is to spoil your ballot.*  Problem solved.  Choose both "Yes" and "No" options.  Tear, spindle or mutilate your ballot.  Heck, draw cute little happy faces in the margins, for all I care.  It’s a task so simple, I daresay even an intellectual like yourself can handle it.

But then, I don’t really think you’re so dense as to not realize this.  What you REALLY object to about the one-stop voting format is that it makes it extremely hard, if not impossible, for people like you to SELL THEIR ABSTENTIONS to the highest bidder.  Or to intimidate others into abstaining as well.**  And on those scores, abstentionists deserve no sympathy whatsoever.

More overwrought absurdity from the good doctor:

Chen may have some disturbances created at polling stations…  If there are scores of voters demanding the one-stop distribution, the guards will have no way of controlling them. Should free-for-alls take place at a third of all polling stations, the [Central Election Commission] is entitled to declare the parliamentary elections invalid and announce another round of elections.

The current Legislative Yuan has to dissolve on Jan. 31, and the new legislature must be sworn in Feb. 1. But the new parliamentary elections can’t take place in a mere 19 days! The one certain result is that the Legislative Yuan [would be empty.]

Enter President Chen. He takes center stage by issuing emergency decrees, which, according to the Constitution, have to be ratified by the Legislative Yuan within ten days of issuance. With the nation’s highest legislative organ ceasing to function, he may do what he wishes and, if there is opposition, may call it a rebellion and declare martial law. And there is no Legislative Yuan to deem it necessary to request the president to terminate martial law in accordance with the Constitution. President Chen has vowed not to declare martial law during the rest of his second and last term. His promises, however, have seldom been kept. Besides, he will have a good alibi this time. He has a rebellion on his hands, which requires the enforcement of martial law. He will then be free to have a new constitution of a republic of Taiwan adopted and run for president and win.

Short-time readers of the China Post should be forgiven if they get the impression from this that Dr. Hung disapproves of martial law.  Because nothing could be further from the truth: following the contentious 2004 presidential election results, Dr. Hung and the China Post begged – BEGGED! – President Chen to declare a state of emergency.  Flash forward to 2007, and we’re treated to the spectacle of Dr. Hung working himself into a lather about a scenario which he himself prayed for, only 3 years earlier!

Take a valium, Joe.  And make sure you practice extra-hard drawing all those little happy faces.

* Which is not to suggest that I approve of either spoiling one’s ballot or abstaining from voting.  I’m simply pointing out that the one-stop voting process does not represent as insurmountable a barrier to abstention as Dr. Hung portrays.

** An abstention on the referendum measures is ROUGHLY the same as a "No" vote.